Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
