i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
