This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
