My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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