I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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