I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I have post one night stand depression
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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