Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
