Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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