I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
