he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
