Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
