New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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