Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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