I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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