sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize