no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
