Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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