So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
