yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
