all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
