'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
