Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
