dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
