Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
