Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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