Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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