it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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