i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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