Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
two words: eviction party
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
