It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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