Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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