It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
