I feel like I'm in dance class right now
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Randomize
