i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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