You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize