yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
