Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
