Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Oh god it's open bar.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
