I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize