So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
