She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
This is my life. Enjoy the view
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
