**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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