You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
