Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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