Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
