I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
