Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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