You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
