you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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