come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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