Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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