i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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