I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize