every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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