He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
