You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
