watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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