She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
